Unidentified Lying Object (ULO)

West Hollywood, CA–An Unidentified Lying Object (ULO) has been spotted in an apartment complex in West Hollywood. Authorities are currently investigating the matter and asking the neighbors to stay calm despite a scattering of strange crystals and hydro-magnetic plasma in the area. If you have any information regarding this sighting, the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) has requested you contact them immediately.