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  • William the Cat Comments on Tiger Woods

    Yawning cat. Animated. Illustrated by Lynn Chang.

    William the Cat was asked what his thoughts were on the ongoing Tiger Woods scandal.

    • Could Tiger have nipped the media frenzy in the bud by copping earlier? Or would that have made it worse?
    • Is is this his own personal business? Or does he have a responsibility as he is an billion dollar endorsed global sports icon?
    • Who is hotter or skankier? His wife, his girlfriends or Tiger?
    • Will his career take a beating? Or will it be limited to the beating on his Escalade?

    Unfortunately William was unavailable for comment as he was taking a nap.

  • Giving Thanks

    Cat chasing ball, the sun, a dead rat, cat sleeping. Animated. Illustrated by Lynn Chang.

    Despite the fact your life is tough, remember to give a little thanks to your humans as well as your other feline friends who may not have laps to purr on.

    My favorite no-kill animal shelters:
    Pasadena Human Society
    San Gabriel Humane Society (extra special because this is where I was adopted!).


    William the Cat

  • How to Avoid Overeating at Thanksgiving

    Cat getting fat after Thanksgiving. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.
    • Eat a small mouse in the morning. No need to starve yourself until the big meal arrives.
    • Some exercise before the meal is a good. Consider running in and around people’s feet while they are preparing the big meal. The bonus is that this is is like an obstacle course and helps burn many categories.
    • Go to the toilet and drink some water to fill your tummy before the meal begins.
    • Avoid getting stressed out if company should arrive a/o if there is another household pet. This may cause you to take solace in food and over-eating which may cause you to barf everything up. If you find you must barf, the antique Turkish carpet is the best place of course.
    • Eat just a little off everyone’s plate. This is easily accomplished if you jump on and off the table quickly enough.
    • One one hand there is always tomorrow. On the other you must not forget one gizzard on your plate today is worth more than two gizzards on your plate tomorrow. This does not make sense but neither do you.
    • If you do overeat – there is no reason to feel guilty. Just take a long nap. Guaranteed to make you feel better.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  • Declaw on Cats – BANNED!

    Celebration of making De-clawing illegal drawings. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    It’s two paws down for cat de-clawing. Both the Los Angeles City Council and the Beverly Hills City council have voted unanimously in a preliminary action to ban declawing cats. A final vote on the ordinance is scheduled for November 17, 2009.

    Los Angeles councilman Bill Rosendahl, who owns three cats and looked dashing in a black suit covered in white cat hair stated “The bottom line is, you take the claws out of a cat, you take away the cat.” He did not need to add you also take away the various art forms your cat can create with those claws.


    Cat turning into a pig. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    Another Feline First!

    A 13 year old neutered male cat, a domestic short hair if you must know, may be the first feline infected with Swine Flu.The cat who wishes to only be known as “Mr Whiskers” for privacy purposes, became infected after several of his captive human slaves caught the flu. “I couldn’t let them all get sick by themselves,” he purrs.

    “Despite his equivalent age of 68 human years,” officials at the Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine in Ames stated, “[Mr Whiskers] once again shows feline supremacy by fully recovering – without having to use any of his nine lives.”

    “I would like to thank the veterinarians at Iowa State even though I think the name-University College- is a bit redundant even for a cat with limited writing skills.” [Mr. Whiskers] meows. He adds, “I am not considered a high risk in spreading the virus and that is all I will say on the matter. I do appreciate the public’s respect for my privacy at this time.”

    It is not known if he is striped or not.

  • Monrovia Rat Homicide

    Half Eaten Rat.

    “Breakfast of the Champions!” declares William the Cat.

    Today, shortly after William left for his morning ablutions, the Franklins discovered these dismembered rat remains on the lawn. No head was found making general identification of the rat impossible.

    William, “There’s nothing better in the morning, than a nice yummy Roof Rat” says William. “Today I liked the head best but other times not so much.”

    Due to the Roof Rat breeding season, the Franklins have been finding more and more rat homicides left on the lawn but thankfully not at the doormat or in the house.

    “I don’t like to share” says William.

    Because of his hunter prowess, William is now in great demand in the neighborhood with neighbors plying him with wet cat food to encourage him for personal yard Roof Rat patrol.

    Many Roof Rats in this Monrovia neighborhood have met their demise with William. It is hard to guess the total number as the Franklins do not believe William is bringing all his catches home. However, last December, William averaged one Roof Rat or part of a Roof Rat left on their lawn per day.

    Says William “It also tastes better when you catch them yourself.”


    Junk mail addressed to Wiliam the Cat.

    Today, our cat William was the recipient of junk mail. How a gray cat – who doesn’t even have a Social Security number got on someone’s direct mail list is beyond me. Yet, I must admit, the offer is actually enticing – a 2009 Internet Income Training Conference – for both William and a guest (we haven’t determined the guest will be yet.)

    By attending the complimentary Conference, William receives:

    • a free lunch or dinner
    • a free MP3 Player (although the stipulation is that he be at least 18 years of age or older. However, we feel this is up to interpretation as he is over 18 years old in cat years.)
    • free Internet Marketing strategies.

    We’re not sure if we’re attending quite yet. We are going to first call and see if they are serving tuna.


  • Creepy Cat Costume – Chia Pet Cat

    Tip on how to make your cat a Chia Pet. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    A very eco-friendly costume!

    What you need:

    • Seeds (quick sprouting seeds like barley work best)
    • Water
    • Sunlight
    • A little love



    1. Find Cat
    2. Sprinkle seeds over cat
    3. Mist with water
    4. Place cat in sunny spot until seeds begin to sprout (approx. 3 days)

    Voila! Chia Cat!

  • Creepy Cat Costume – Franken Cat

    Tip on how to make your cat a Frankenstein costume.

    A more complicated costume but worth it.

    Ever since my cat got an abscess I have been partial to the concept of a Franken-Cat.

    What you need:

    • Green Construction Paper
    • Black Construction Paper
    • Black Marker
    • Elmer’s Glue
    • Old Rag
    • 2 Button Mushrooms


    1. First cut the green paper to approximately 4″ x 10″. The length depends on the width of your cats head so adjust accordingly.
    2. Use a marker and draw stitches on the paper.
    3. Cut a narrow strip of black paper to the same length.
    4. Feather the sides of the black construction paper (as shown).
    5. Glue the black paper with the feathered side out onto the green paper.
    6. Glue the sides of the green paper and make a tube.
    7. Take your old rag, cut a hole in the center and cut jaggedy edges all around
    8. Find cat.
    9. Place rag over cat
    10. Place tube on cat’s head.
    11. Glue button mushrooms on each side of your cat’s head.

    Voila! Franken-cat!

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