Klepto Cat Spawns Copy Cats

Monrovia, CA–Holiday Kitties need Therapy

Word is, due to this Holiday Season combined with the poor economy, kitty theft has sky rocketed as kitties are stealing more than ever to try and put something, anything, even an old, disgusting sponge teaming with germs, under the Christmas Tree.

“Materialism has spoiled Christmas,” says Santa Claus. “I take some blame for this because of I started the tradition of going down chimneys and leaving presents under tree for those have been good and coal for those that have been bad just because I know. It is sad this now this complete disconnect with the season has trickled to cats.” Santa was unavailable for further comments as he had to rush back to frantically wrapping for his big night a few days away.

“Perhaps if you had planned a little better earlier, you wouldn’t be in such a rush” said Mrs Claus as she walked by. Santa was unavailable for further comment but did pause to give Mrs. Claus the evil eye.

The editors at Kitty Free Press implore those people with cats seek therapy this holiday season if your cat is a kleptomaniac as this is a serious mental illness and not to be taken lightly.