• November 5, 2009

    IOWA CAT WITH SWINE FLU

    Cat turning into a pig. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    Another Feline First!

    A 13 year old neutered male cat, a domestic short hair if you must know, may be the first feline infected with Swine Flu.The cat who wishes to only be known as “Mr Whiskers” for privacy purposes, became infected after several of his captive human slaves caught the flu. “I couldn’t let them all get sick by themselves,” he purrs.

    “Despite his equivalent age of 68 human years,” officials at the Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine in Ames stated, “[Mr Whiskers] once again shows feline supremacy by fully recovering – without having to use any of his nine lives.”

    “I would like to thank the veterinarians at Iowa State even though I think the name-University College- is a bit redundant even for a cat with limited writing skills.” [Mr. Whiskers] meows. He adds, “I am not considered a high risk in spreading the virus and that is all I will say on the matter. I do appreciate the public’s respect for my privacy at this time.”

    It is not known if he is striped or not.

  • November 3, 2009

    Monrovia Rat Homicide

    Half Eaten Rat.

    “Breakfast of the Champions!” declares William the Cat.

    Today, shortly after William left for his morning ablutions, the Franklins discovered these dismembered rat remains on the lawn. No head was found making general identification of the rat impossible.

    William, “There’s nothing better in the morning, than a nice yummy Roof Rat” says William. “Today I liked the head best but other times not so much.”

    Due to the Roof Rat breeding season, the Franklins have been finding more and more rat homicides left on the lawn but thankfully not at the doormat or in the house.

    “I don’t like to share” says William.

    Because of his hunter prowess, William is now in great demand in the neighborhood with neighbors plying him with wet cat food to encourage him for personal yard Roof Rat patrol.

    Many Roof Rats in this Monrovia neighborhood have met their demise with William. It is hard to guess the total number as the Franklins do not believe William is bringing all his catches home. However, last December, William averaged one Roof Rat or part of a Roof Rat left on their lawn per day.

    Says William “It also tastes better when you catch them yourself.”