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  • Declaw on Cats – BANNED!

    Celebration of making De-clawing illegal drawings. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    It’s two paws down for cat de-clawing. Both the Los Angeles City Council and the Beverly Hills City council have voted unanimously in a preliminary action to ban declawing cats. A final vote on the ordinance is scheduled for November 17, 2009.

    Los Angeles councilman Bill Rosendahl, who owns three cats and looked dashing in a black suit covered in white cat hair stated “The bottom line is, you take the claws out of a cat, you take away the cat.” He did not need to add you also take away the various art forms your cat can create with those claws.


    Cat turning into a pig. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    Another Feline First!

    A 13 year old neutered male cat, a domestic short hair if you must know, may be the first feline infected with Swine Flu.The cat who wishes to only be known as “Mr Whiskers” for privacy purposes, became infected after several of his captive human slaves caught the flu. “I couldn’t let them all get sick by themselves,” he purrs.

    “Despite his equivalent age of 68 human years,” officials at the Iowa State University College of Veterinary Medicine in Ames stated, “[Mr Whiskers] once again shows feline supremacy by fully recovering – without having to use any of his nine lives.”

    “I would like to thank the veterinarians at Iowa State even though I think the name-University College- is a bit redundant even for a cat with limited writing skills.” [Mr. Whiskers] meows. He adds, “I am not considered a high risk in spreading the virus and that is all I will say on the matter. I do appreciate the public’s respect for my privacy at this time.”

    It is not known if he is striped or not.

  • Monrovia Rat Homicide

    Half Eaten Rat.

    “Breakfast of the Champions!” declares William the Cat.

    Today, shortly after William left for his morning ablutions, the Franklins discovered these dismembered rat remains on the lawn. No head was found making general identification of the rat impossible.

    William, “There’s nothing better in the morning, than a nice yummy Roof Rat” says William. “Today I liked the head best but other times not so much.”

    Due to the Roof Rat breeding season, the Franklins have been finding more and more rat homicides left on the lawn but thankfully not at the doormat or in the house.

    “I don’t like to share” says William.

    Because of his hunter prowess, William is now in great demand in the neighborhood with neighbors plying him with wet cat food to encourage him for personal yard Roof Rat patrol.

    Many Roof Rats in this Monrovia neighborhood have met their demise with William. It is hard to guess the total number as the Franklins do not believe William is bringing all his catches home. However, last December, William averaged one Roof Rat or part of a Roof Rat left on their lawn per day.

    Says William “It also tastes better when you catch them yourself.”


    Junk mail addressed to Wiliam the Cat.

    Today, our cat William was the recipient of junk mail. How a gray cat – who doesn’t even have a Social Security number got on someone’s direct mail list is beyond me. Yet, I must admit, the offer is actually enticing – a 2009 Internet Income Training Conference – for both William and a guest (we haven’t determined the guest will be yet.)

    By attending the complimentary Conference, William receives:

    • a free lunch or dinner
    • a free MP3 Player (although the stipulation is that he be at least 18 years of age or older. However, we feel this is up to interpretation as he is over 18 years old in cat years.)
    • free Internet Marketing strategies.

    We’re not sure if we’re attending quite yet. We are going to first call and see if they are serving tuna.