Funny Cat News

  • The World’s Smallest Cat!

    Tiny Himalayan Siamese Kitty on top of a pencil.

    Illinois–Tinker Toy was a 2.75 inches tall and 7.25 inches long Blue Point Himalayan. While he only weighed a little over a pound he had plenty of kitty love to share. He passed in 1997.

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  • Unidentified Lying Object (ULO)

    West Hollywood, CA–An Unidentified Lying Object (ULO) has been spotted in an apartment complex in West Hollywood. Authorities are currently investigating the matter and asking the neighbors to stay calm despite a scattering of strange crystals and hydro-magnetic plasma in the area. If you have any information regarding this sighting, the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) has requested you contact them immediately.

  • Cat Boom Town

    Ponte Vedra, FL–Formerly homeless cats can now park their furry bottoms at Caboodle Ranch, a 30 acre cat paradise founded by Craig Grant in 2003.

    The ranch boasts not only homes but a full service community for kitties with amenities as Cat Condos, public areas as well as a City Hall for kitties to iron their differences apart and make their voices heard.

    After a mandatory spay/neuter, cats are automatically enrolled in a work-study program where they perfect their purring and lounging skills with the help of Caboodle Ranch volunteers. Despite the self-sustaining purring, Caboodles Ranch is privately run and always appreciates donations. You can also keep up with the latest news by joining Caboodles Ranch Facebook page.

    Cozy Cat Condos.

    Cats in the lane at Caboodles Ranch

    Cats enjoying a jaunt in one of Caboodle Ranch’s many well maintained public areas.

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    Caboodle Ranch City Hall with Honorable Toddles residing on the roof.

    The founder of Caboodle Ranch, Craig Grant with his two favorite things. Entenmanns and kitties.

    Caboodle Ranch Loitering

    Not all is purrr…fect as there is a high incident of loitering at Caboodle Ranch.

  • Sheba the Cat Predictor

    Black cat against green background.

    South Africa – – In an amazing feat of clairvoyance, Sheba a small, long-haired black cat predicts the color of Peter’s underpants…the day before it happens. While initially Sheba was disinterested in using her psychic abilities for something so obviously commercial, she finally acquiesced after spending some time staring at the space underneath an unidentified door and predicted blue as the shocking color of Peter’s underpants, the day before it happens.

    Will Sheba be correct? Or perhaps will Peter’s underpants be another color like yellow. And if his underpants are indeed yellow – where did Peter purchase them and more importantly – why? Why? These questions and more will be revealed at the Big Breakfast, a top Radio station from South Africa.

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  • Man Marries Cat – Yes, it’s True

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    Possendorf, Germany–Yes, it’s really true. Uwe Mitzscherlich has tied the knot with his cat Cecilia. Over the past 10 years, Cecilia has been living in sin with Uwe. Even though she slept in his bed every night, coughed up hair balls and shed all over the place, making her way to the altar just seemed to delude her, giving weight to your mother’s favorite axiom “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” However, recently Cecilia has fallen ill and Uwe has finally decided to do the right thing and make Cecilia an honest cat by marrying her.

    Unfortunately, since marrying cats is illegal in Germany and as far as we know, illegal in most countries, actress Christin-Maria Lohri officiated the ceremony for a mere 300 Euros ($360 US). “It was really beautiful and heart-warming. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.” She also added, “The reception dinner was particularly elegant. I didn’t know you could prepare tuna in so many ways.”

    “It doesn’t matter that our marriage is not recognized by the Republic of Germany,” Mitzscherlich has been reported to say, “I love Cecilia and that’s all that matters.”

    The groom looked elegant in his classic black coat and tails. The bride looked also wore black and white and was radiant in a lovely Chantilly lace veil and her own tail.

  • CROP CIRCLE FOUND IN WISCONSIN LITTERBOX

    Fat white cat sitting in front of a litter box with a crop circle.

    Madison, Wisconsin–While Snowball was attending to her Wednesday morning ablutions she discovered this shocking, mystifying pattern in her litter box. Experts say that this pattern is a pictorial representation of Pi. Authorities are baffled because the drawing is impossible to achieve in kitty litter with today’s technology. No other kitties live at the Snowball residence.The Famous Kitty Planet Studded Outlaw Leather Safety Cat Collar

  • STONEHENGE UFO SIGHTING

    White floating cat above Stonehenge.

    Stonehenge, England–A UFO was spotted earlier this morning above Stonehenge. Witnessed by thousands of tourists and documented in our exclusive Kitty Free Press photograph.Witnesses say the UFO made a purring sound, gyrated above Stonehenge, then suddenly disappeared. Many were covered inexplicably after the sighting with white fur.

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  • CAT DU SOLEIL

    Hairless cat licking leg in front of a Cat du Soleil poster.

    Las Vegas–Cirque du Soleil is excited to announce it’s latest show, Cat du Soleil. Featuring sinuous feline acrobats that perform death defying jumps and contortions, cat singers and dancers this show is not to be missed by anyone who considers themselves a kitty enthusiast.

  • Declaw on Cats – BANNED!

    Celebration of making De-clawing illegal drawings. Animated. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    It’s two paws down for cat de-clawing. Both the Los Angeles City Council and the Beverly Hills City council have voted unanimously in a preliminary action to ban declawing cats. A final vote on the ordinance is scheduled for November 17, 2009.

    Los Angeles councilman Bill Rosendahl, who owns three cats and looked dashing in a black suit covered in white cat hair stated “The bottom line is, you take the claws out of a cat, you take away the cat.” He did not need to add you also take away the various art forms your cat can create with those claws.

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