Kitty Planet | What Color is Your Litterbox?

  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Purrr…sonal Assistant

    White cat with a cell phone and a wrapped gift package walking. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    A Purrr…sonal assistant is both the hardest and simplest job imaginable. Obvious tasks like following your human from room to room will be no stretch for your walnut sized brain. But, you’ll definitely need your extrasensory perception (ESP) skills for the more difficult aspect of this job; anticipating your human’s needs – even when they don’t realize they have a need. For example, what to do if your human is going down the stairs carrying a large load of laundry and needs an extra paw? Trust your intuition. Quick! Run down with them, as fast as you can go, at an angle and between their legs if possible. Remember “Six legs good! Two legs bad!” This type of anticipatory help will always be greatly appreciated in moments like this, making a career as a Purrr…sonal Assistant particularly rewarding.

    Consider this career if you;

    • Exist for everyone else but yourself
    • Possess the ability to manage multiple projects with attention to detail
    • Are a self-starter that energizes people around you

  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? IT Technician

    Striped cat on a keyboard in front of a computer. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    This is an especially rewarding career for cats that like the warmth the computer generates, feel comfortable in a desk top environment and are early tech adapters. For example, if you had a Twitter account and were tweeting when the neighborhood cats were still chasing birds, then this might be the choice for you.

    However, this career is not for every cat. If you are the type of kitty who likes to nibble on cables, unless you have all nine of your nine lives left, maybe this isn’t such a good choice.

    Consider this career if you:

    • Can spend hours staring at a computer screen
    • Fix any problem by just sitting on it
    • Have in-depth knowledge or digital and multi-media platforms

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

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  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Are you a Helper?

    Tuxedo cat hanging socks on a laundry line with a basket of wet laundry at his paws. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    If you’re not a DOER, a THINKER or a CREATOR and at you realize you are not a HELPER – you’re starting to run out of options fuzzbutt. So, if you’re one of those cats that can’t make any decision at some point you have to chose something. Why you ask? Well have you read the papers recently? Reality check. The economy is going down and the gravy train is coming to an end. That’s why.

    In times like this, the kitties, the key is self-sufficiency. Otherwise you know where you might end up? The alley! Is that what you want?

    So listen now and listen good. No one said a job was going to be easy. The good news is that maybe you’re a HELPER. Read on and see if this is the right path for you.

    Are you a Helper?

    When you encounter a messy dinner plate you tend to:

    • Bury it to hide the smell
    • Clean it thoroughly to prepare it for the dishwasher
    • Knock it onto the floor and play with the broken pieces
    • Ignore it and go take a nap

    If you answered “bury it” or “knock it to the floor”, you are a Helper.

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

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  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Cat Chef

    Fluffy white cat in an apron, a chef hat, a rolling pin and a wooden spoon. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    If you like to eat, able to distinguish between a no-name cat food and your favorite exponentially more expensive brand and you’re willing to taste new things, like the take out Chicken Tikka Masala that someone left on the counter then a CHEF might be the career for you.

    Despite the fact that cats are well known for their discriminating palettes, there are relatively few cat chefs in currently in the marketplace. If you don’t believe me, when is the last time you saw a cat on Hell’s Kitchen? And why not? You’re quick, nimble and you could easily give Chef Ramsay a few new ways on how to express yourself when you don’t get what you want.

    As you are deciding where your passions lie, we suggest exploring new cuisines or taking a cooking class or two. What’s nice to know that wherever this career path leads you: short order cook, restaurateur about town or cat-erer, there is nothing more satisfying than to serve or be served a good meal.

    Consider this career if you:

    • Enjoy eating and drinking to an excess
    • Look great in an apron
    • Can julienne better than Julia Child

    Not a CREATOR? Maybe you are a HELPER!

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

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  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Cat Opera Singer

    Listen, if you’ve got a voice there is no reason why you shouldn’t use it or let it be wasted in an alley when you could be trying out for America’s Got Talent. You might think – I can’t! I am no longer a kitten and my tail is grey, bushy and unmanageable! Well, think about the great loss we would would all have if Susan Boyle gave up because she’s got grey, bushy and unmanageable eyebrows! Your voice is a gift and you should share your gift.

    Now before you think just because you have talent, you can be a lazy bones and just lie around all day and dream about Carnegie Hall, you need to know that to be a truly great opera singer, you must practice, practice, practice. (That and having a Viking helmet and spiky bra is really all you need.) I can still hear my high school band director saying, “95% perspiration, 5% inspiration.” And this is never more true than when pursuing a career as an Opera Singer.

    As you refine your talent, you’ll find practice will begin to feel much less like work and more like a natural part of your everyday life. For example, you’ll startle yourself by realizing you are practicing your vibrato in a hallway, your volume when you want in or your pitch when you want out. And as you refine your skill and talent, you’ll find your listeners more and more appreciative.

    Consider this career if you;

    • Possess massive lung capacity
    • Communicate your feelings at a very high amplitude
    • Have purrr…fect pitch

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

     

  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Cat Interior Designer

    Grey fluffy cat sitting on a striped tuffet. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    All of us are able to immediately recognize what we like when we see it, but few of us can actually create a look from scratch. However, if you are an Interior Designer Kitty, you know innately what needs to be done the minute your walk in a room to make that space truly and uniquely yours. Tearing just an ever so small opening in the sheer silk curtain to let the sun in just so? Shredding that new couch in just the right place to give it that purrr…fect Shabby Chic touch? Or perhaps placing that hair ball on the antique Turkish carpet in the exact right place for maximum impact?

    Consider this career if you:

    • Understand the neccessity of well placed fringe
    • Work well with a conflicting personalities
    • Strong creative skills coupled with a strong understanding of the creative process

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

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  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox ? Are you a Creator?

    White cat with a beret, a paintbrush and artist palette and a painting. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    If you have been faithfully following the blog you may have determined you are not a DOER or a THINKER. This may have left you despondent and unable to enjoy the sun’s last rays on your furry body as you lie under your favorite window sadly musing, “perhaps there is no hope for me to be fulfilled in my cat-reer.” But do not give up hope, as you may very well be a CREATOR.

    Incidentally, for those who have not been faithfully following the blog, we hiss and spit on you. Furthermore, we refuse to use the litterbox you have graciously provided and choose to go instead to the planter where you have planted a low maintenance Dracaena and teach you a thing or two about low maintenance.

    Being a creator is wonderful. For one, isn’t God a creator too? If so, he certainly is in good company. For two, most cats have have artistry running through their veins.

    Are you a Creator?

    True or False:

    You are inspired by:

    • Afternoon naps in a warm sunbeam
    • Raking the litter in your cat box into elaborate patterns
    • Making imprints with your paws on windows and mirrors
    • Your Yoga and meditation practices

    If you true to one or more, you are a Creator.

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

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  • What is the Color of Your Litterbox? Cat Burglar

    White cat with stocking over head and a bag of stolen goods. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    Although there are many perils in breaking the law, especially with legislation like Three Strikes in California, there really is no reason an enterprising kitty should not consider a successful career in crime. After all, how do you think Cat Burglar was coined?

    Depending on your neighborhood, the amazing rewards of this job can keep you purring for days. And you’ll find the selection of items you can paw is quite broad. You need not limit yourself to precious stones and metals – after all what’s wrong with a lovely fish skeleton or an exciting leathery, petrified bat that someone found in their basement and tried unsuccessfully to give to the garbage collector for several weeks? You’ll find all these items have surprisingly good street value with your friendly neighborhood fencer.

    Another plus is that you’ll find your slinky ways and ability to see in the dark an incredible asset that sets you head, shoulders and tails above other petty criminals of lesser animals.

    Consider this career if you;

    • Demonstrate extreme patience
    • Tremble from excitement and make an “eh eh eh” sound when you see something you want
    • Can spot a D flawless from across the room

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller

    The Famous Kitty Planet Studded Outlaw Leather Safety Cat Collar

  • What Color is Your Litterbox? NASA Scientist

    White cat with sunglasses behind desk with a rocket on desktop. Illustration by Lynn Chang.

    The myth of cats only excelling in liberal arts is that – a myth only. Many cats have found great success in the world of science and you can too. And if you’re going to reach for the stars, to explore the space and time continuum, to pioneer the future in aeronautics research or to contact the Mother Ship, we believe you need to reach no higher than to be a NASA scientist.

    Consider this career if you:

    • Can concentrate on one thing for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours.
    • Approach situations from a detached, analytical point-of-view
    • Recite all of Newton’s laws of motion

    Created by Lynn Chang and Christienne Miller.

     

     

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